So ever since MooSe’s wife got sick and then my nephew hung himself I have had this growing sense of foreboding. This anxiety that seems to come from nowhere and it has generally sapped my motivation. Last night, the diversion provided by the after-taste of In & Out has added to the anxiety with a feeling of impending doom which is new.
Thanfully, I have a weight training class in about 10 minutes to take my mind off of things and I will walk the bleachers on the way to class to drive my brain to motivate. Or that is the plan. Conversely, she liked the funny blog which makes me do little happy dances and will surely lead me to dance my way to class in a few minutes. Stoned and working out……
On the way to the class Cheek walked up and we walked to class happy and baked. In class I started with the dumbbells and did 10 sets of 10 instead of the normal 6. Ouch. But I can feel the difference in my body and when working out. But the machine reverse press is taking the hit as I have only done 6 reps of 10 and only 3.5 of them were at 110lbs. The others were at a lighter weight. Depression. Self hug. Hey, you have muscles dude. No shit.
Kethry cut her hair in the beginning of October and donated it to a charity that will accept shorter lengths then locks for love. I would like to think that it had something to do with her knowledge of MooSe’s wife’s battle with cancer that began in September and ended abruptly two weeks ago.
She is truly daddy’s girl and I realize thay she gets the attention deficit disorder from me. She wrote me a letter as I was packing up to leave after our visit Sunday.
She melted her daddy’s heart and I damn near started crying. My eyes started to water….
I spent most of yesterday in thr shell shocked confusion that you can only comprehend if you have seen a friend take their last breath. I spent it with my friend MooSe, by his side as they removed the life support from her yesterday afternoon after he fulfilled her wishes.
I spent the evening and night sitting my own form of shiva with Thea’s family sitting around a fire in the back yard smoking marijuana and reveling in each others presence and communing in our shared emotions.
Then this morning as we awoke from our slumber, we all slowly assembled and greeted each other. We comforted each other and communed over coffee, macaroons and marijuana.
Then a trip to Denny’s where the food was exactly what you’d expect and service that was subpar even for a Denny’s. This was more then made up for in the fellowship and the camaraderie and that is as good as chicken soup or a joint for the soul. Rest in peace Thea.
So one of the things I always had from my party days was what they refer to as candy. I wasn’t a “Candy Kid,” I just had a bracelet or two of brightly colored bead jewelry.
This bracelet came to Kethry and she gave it to me and it was too tight but now with my weightloss it fits more comfortably. She was excited when she saw me wearing it.
She is just simply scrumptious, truly scrumptious and when I look at her I can truly understand that ear worm Sweet Child Of Mine….. I picked her up and was holding her in my arms and because of my weight training and physical fitness regiment over the last 6 months, she was light. She lamented that soon she would be too big for this but that it was ok for now. My heart was like that first chocolate bunny clutched in your child’s death grip, where the solid milk chocolate is quickly losing its solidity and becoming a fluid. Yes, my heart melted as she said this and smiled at me, looking through her lashes. She knows how to work it, how to wrap daddy around her finger.
So last night, I went over to MooSe’s and hung out with him for a bit. Three of us played dominoes, which I had not done in 30 years. It was awesome fun and reminded me of some of those long days in the group home playing.
School is over and I am feeling the depression and crash that follows an adrenalin rush. Reality has come crashing through the euphoria brought about by the incredible speed that this summer semester and 6 weeks has passed. The whirlwind has given way to seeming chaos created by the syructured order of my school class schedule. This makes me long for the numbing intensity that my fall schedule promises to provide and I am still contemplating the addition of a film photography class just because I want to take it. I just am not sure that I can afford the film and paper supplies necessary to meet all of the performance requirements. I have a line on a camera but not the film and paper. Ultimately I would like to take the film classes and then move on to the digital ones.
Add to this the fact that I miss my kids and everything associated with them.
So when I bought my HP Envy 17 3d notebook in 2011, I also bought the $350 priority warranty with accidental damage protection. It sort of paid for itself in the first year because they swapped out the unit 4 times to resolve heat related issues.
Today my notebook did a humpty dumpty and fell off the hood of my car. My fault. I challenged Sir Isaac Newton’s theory of Gravity and lost. So I called HP and followed the voice prompts telling them the device was a notebook and an envy model. The automated system transferred me to a lady who spoke English as a second language and I told her I dropped it. From the follow-up questions I knew I was going to have a problem and 20 minutes later she admits she cannot handle envy calls and transfers me. The next guy doesn’t want to transfer me and when I finally get a supervisor, 10 minutes later I have a box on the way.
This is why I recommend paying for the insurance because accidents happen when you least expect it and these repairs would have costed at least the price of the warrany. I had been planning to send it in because the keyboard was showing wear in the most annoying way.
So I did not sleep.well last night and I am really tired this morning. Class begins in 10 minutes and my lazy ass is procrastinating and trying to figure out a valid excuse to give in to the end of semester fever. I won’t but my brain hasn’t figured that out yet.
So I got to school a little early, about 1.5 houra before the Library or Student Center opened and realized I had to go to the potty. Numbet 2, the sit down, hold on kind. Shit. Literally.
I located the nearest open restroom and on my way back to the car I noticed that Nature was having all kinds of unconstrained sexual relations. Keep in mind that flowers are the manifestation of Nature’s art. Made me smile.
Looks can be deceiving as this Odwalla bar is a funky green color but tastes amazing. Like most Odwalla products, the ingredients are as organic and natural as possible.
They we’re less then a dollar a bar which is pretty awesome. So this beats a double cheeae burger for a cheap filler.
There was this guy sitting in Starbucks and he was getting frustrated trying to install Office 2013 on his new Windows 8 Lenovo notebook. He had purchased both at Fry’s Electronics. The confusion came from the fact that Lenovo installed Office 2010 and it asks for a key and will accepy the 2013 key but it wony work. You have to uninstall the 2010 preload. So I helped him get everything setup and found out he also goes to American River College.
I wondet how this would have turned out if I had not of helped him. This should not happen and Microsoft should work with OEMs to ensure that it doesn’t. Morw then likely the purchaser would try to return it and be denied a refund. Then they would eat the cost.