Archive for June, 2012


So spiders give me the chills, literally even daddy long legs.  I have learned to suppress it with a warped fascination with spiders.  The problem is by ignoring them they take over and bolder competition moves in.  This is the second one of these jumping spiders I have seen in my house.

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The first time I saw him he was like 5 feet away from me in the garage hanging out.  These are called Jumping Spiders for a reasons.  Yes it is breed profiling and it works.  They can fracking jump.  Fast.  And Far. And I almost shit my pants.  Note:  Don’t poke them with a hemp twig.  Even a three foot one because it didn’t hesitate.

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Now he I have seen him surveying my desk and I am a bit weirded out by this thing.  It’s huge.  No, seriously.  Don’t believe me?  Look at this:

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It’s furry and dusty and just, oh frack it gives me the willies.  It’s furry, what the hell was nature thinking trying to make it all fuzzy and cute.  Cute my ass, it can jump three feet.

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Ok, does that help with size?  Notice the alien green mandibles?  Look at those fracking eyes.  Rule the world this thing could.  Still not convinced?

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Oh yeah, that really gives me the fracking willies.  That is some creepy stuff.  It’s beautiful isn’t it?

Dear Dad:

It’s father’s day again and I am sitting here the morning after wondering what your day was like.  Did someone call you in the morning and say ‘Hey Dad, I hope you are having an awesome day.  Thanks for all those times you lectured me one what I was doing wrong, what my problem was because I knew it was your way of telling me you loved me.  I miss you Dad and I am sure my siblings do too. I know your grandkids miss you because I have asked them about it.  Josh could really use you in his life somehow, even if its just to tell him what his problem is Dad.  So does Zach.  Jessica has two sons that I think would love to get to know you.

My wanting to get in touch with you again Dad is purely selfish and I can fully admit that.  I want my Dad back in my life because I miss his love and presence.  That’s what you were most of my life Dad, a presence and it wasn’t until I got older that I realized exactly what your presence shielded from.  Your presence held me to a higher standard Dad and you and your family taught me how family is supposed to think or act.  I will be totally honest, I long to see my daughter and son at a McMorrow Christmas gathering because those were always the most amazing times.

Do you remember Trenine Dad?  She is the gal that came with me to Baltimore back in 1998 when I came to visit?  Well, in 1998 she was diagnosed with rapid breast cancer and I nursed her through Chemo and back to health when we parted.  She broke it off with me because she didn’t want me to see her deteriorate like she did although I did not know it at the time.  So I truly have been there and I am here if you ever want to talk.

Your Son.