I turned 43 this year Dad.  It’s been 12 years since I talked to you last and the world was a different place and I was still finding myself.  I know you may think that I didn’t really need you as I became a man, but the reality is I was a man the day I left home.  The man you made of me and you did such a good job Dad.  You prepared me for that period of my life, for surviving on my own.

Now, I am a father and I’ve come to the place where you where when you started to raise me.  This is the time where I once again need you Dad, but now I need you in a different way.  You see, I am a Dad now and I need to talk to you about being a Dad.  I need pointers, advice and I need my Dad.  Look, you raised a sharp kid and I understand all those things I didn’t back then.  I have always wondered how you dealt with Mom and I never doubted how much you sheltered me from the full impact of my mother.  She’s passed on Dad, not that it should matter in our relationship.

I need to tell you this Dad, I need you to understand who I am because I need to thank you.  You may not have been my father but you were my Dad.  You are what I think of when someone talks about there Dad.  I learned through you how I should act, what kind of man I should become Dad.  You were my hero and I never wanted to let you down so I made sure I never got myself in trouble.  I avoided doing something stupid and getting arrested because I never wanted to have to tell you I was sorry through a glass window.

Now that I am older Dad, and I have a son who is just like I was Dad.  Now I need your wisdom and knowledge again because I need you listen to me Dad.  This is the stage in our lives when I am supposed to come and visit and we are supposed to share a beer and we are supposed to laugh about how stupid I was as a kid.  Then when I tell you about Haplo, my son, you will remind me how I was like that too.  I miss and desire your counsel Dad.

Hopefully one day somehow this entry will get read to you like a letter and you will see me out and we will get to talk on the phone.  You have 3 other kids and 5 grand kids with a 6th one on the way and I think they would all really love to hear from you again Dad.

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